That's What Grief Is

This rap was written about the experience of losing a loved one in a sudden death. The song addresses some of the feelings that often accompanies a sudden loss such as shock, numbness, disbelief, sadness and anger.

Words and Music By Tom Dalton © 2000
Vocal performance by Adam Sears and Tom Dalton

When I first got the news I just couldn’t believe
That something like this was really happening
People die everyday it’s a fact of life
But when it’s family it tears you up inside

I went into shock and my mind went blank
My body was frozen and my heart just sank
I heard something said about an accident
But all I could hear was that my mother was dead

At the funeral the family all cried
I was a block of stone my eyes were dry
If you ask me how I felt I didn’t have a clue
My life had changed that’s all I knew

It took a little while till the truth hit home
I felt so mad and sad to the bone
I was helpless and out of control
“Why did this happen” I cried in my soul

They say it’s going to take some time to heal
But my problem is I can’t believe it’s real
I keep thinking that my mother’s going to walk in the room
And that it’s just a bad dream and I’ll wake up soon

It was nobody’s fault she lost control of the car
A freak accident and that’s what so hard
I want to blame someone so I blame myself
I felt so bad I had to ask for help

It ain’t fair, it ain’t right, I can’t accept her death
I want to fight someone to my very last breath
But there’s no one to fight so I just clench my teeth
Go ahead...ask me about my grief

Chorus
When I hear the word grief it’s a personal thing
What it is for you ain’t the same for me
Just when I think I can handle this….I just lose it
That’s what grief is…

So don’t tell me time will heal cause that’s not what I feel
With each passing day my pain’s revealed
The cut is deep but I come up for air
And find relief at times out there

It’s the memories the times we had
Not picture perfect, some were real bad
But it’s all I’ve got of my life with her
She’s inside me now beyond the pain and hurt

I will survive I’ll live it down
Life goes on that’s what I’ve found
I put my pain into this rap
Unless you’ve been there you don’ know where I’m at